So I was invited to go on a cruise the other day. Little did I realize - cruise liners can only hold so much weight and apparently, I tipped the scales. My girlfriends and I were packed and ready to board. We stood in line laughing (I laughed while a piece of cheesecake I saved from the other night was smeared on my mouth). My girlfriends are thin and they got through the line fine. When I approached the line you would have thought GodZilla had attacked. The captain quickly directed the employees to pull the bridge to the boat. As I got closer I realized what was happening and I began running (as fast I could) towards the boat. The bridge was pulled just as I reached the boat and all the passengers laughed as I just stood there with cake all over my mouth.