I love to complain. Especially about that bridge I have to live under. Sometimes I get beat up while I sleep. Luckily, I have frostbite covering my entire body because I have no shelter from the freezing cold, so the beatings don't hurt. I don't have food, water, companionship or shelter. I feel bad complaining about my petty problems though. My situation is nothing in comparison to all of your extraordinarily agonizing misfortune. I hope you all work out your awful situations with your cell phones and your dogs bad haircuts.